heyy, Dommie, if you see this at all,

Happy Birthday (: (:

You’re finally 18. 

you would drown me.

Hello, everybody! -waves waves!-
Sorry I haven’t been blogging much of late. been admittedly bored.
alrights! i’ll be leaving for Australia for the entirety of a year in approximately -hmm, takes calender out- three weeks! (: I’ll definitely miss the awesome friends i made in yjc. (:
you guys hang in there; LOVE YOU ALL (: (: (:

for all of you uninformed readers, an Australia college has accepted me, and I’ll be commencing lessons there in less than a month! I’ll probably end up in the UniMELB, if I get into the course I want, and spend 6 years in Australia. Mhmm, i hope i don’t change too much. (:

oh, and don’t check back with this blog anymore. my new blog’s url: www.flushesfromthetoilet.blogsome.com teehee.

I have nothing jolly to blog about today. In fact, I haven’t really had anything jolly to blog about since months ago, but I suck it all in, and smile to the world because they don’t need my fuck. But today, I’m really fucked. Reading C’s blog about how R clinches all the gymnastic awards extra-fucked me, and A’s explanation as to how R maintains its position in the top three of the tennis A division made me spew profanities aloud. I really don’t think the ministry posts teachers to junior colleges randomly; I heard a few teachers from Raffles conversing with each other by the esplanade last night, and boy, they were so fluent and articulate - something that tutors in YJC will never be.

No one knows how fucked my life is. No doubt, A’s got it bad too. But when you’re down, you don’t really care who’s down with you; all you wanna do, is get out of the ditch and be someone you’ll be proud of. Evidently, that’s not possible. And I love you so much as a friend, A, I do, but there are things that you don’t do for friends, even in the name of friendship; I really think you should sit down, and think about what you want in life, and not cause A (your girlfriend) any more hurt. We both heard how worn out she sounded on the phone, didn’t we? I don’t want to see you lose her, I don’t. If you need anything, just ring me up. (:

Hanging out yesterday was fun, wasn’t it, G ? hahahas, yeah, Raffles City is Raffles City.

Girls grow up to become women, boys simply bigger boys.

Because I am neither in the schools i’d like to be in nor outstanding in any aspect of school, I feel an overwhelming sense of inferiority when i walk beside rafflesians. And believe you me when I say I shrink in my shirt - i do; my eyes turn dull, and my back curls into a hideous slouch. I usually then trot my way around like a wounded ogre. Injured, yes, but my wounds you don’t see. They stampede in the glorious uniform that screams Raffles, as I murmur unintelligible words and make haste for exit, in the rags of Yishun. Shit, I’m starting to sound like A and AJT on their blogs! I don’t feel very motivated to continue living.

To be loved, you must first be worthy of loving; and I am.

I ought to stop behaving like a prude, and start opening my eyes to the world; I squirmed like a schoolgirl when A informed me that AJT has had sex before. Yes, that means I’ll be watching more porn from now on, and being more engaging when the guys talk about their sexual fantasies, and the girls they’ve had. It was even more appalling for me when I found out AJT was forced into doing it! I don’t get how a guy could possibly sustain an erection if he was forced to get -ehm- aroused. Oh, and by the way, he’s from a top 5 too (:

in other news, I am officially very sick and very tired of Yishun. The architecture looks ready for demolition, and the students seem most ready to be expelled, the most of them anyways. The only respectable place one should be seen at, and most often is, is the library - although even it isn’t enough of a refuge from the horrifying school that you know as YJC. Mr Sng’s reminder that yjc’s requirements for a student’s promotion is a lot stricter than most jc’s was disturbing, and did nothing but cause me a headache for the remainder of the afternoon. Well, looks like I’ll be doing three years of Pre-University education! (: Now, that’s just swell, isn’t it ?

Oh, and pardon my bitch fit for I’ve been holding it in for a few days now, and it absolutely must get published or I won’t be able to get it out of my system. I cannot believe how audacious you were to, at the mere mention of my name, blurt out every single detail of my being youknowwhat. What pisses me off isn’t the fact you told someone about me, it’s that you told someone you’d only known for less than a fucking hour. Grow up, bitch, seriously: it’s time you figured out what to do with the cerebral mass in your skull that we call the brain. I don’t mean to offend, really, but maybe now you understand why you were never friends with the people from the top classes? sheesh.

Anyways, I have literature and GP to complete now.

It would seem night has fallen, and not much has been cleared on my to-do list - well, apart from my taking an hour long nap (: I’ve accomplished three mindmaps on the structure of DNA, and the process of translation, and, really, that should count for something seeing as to how my previous weekends ended unproductively with me returning to school and getting into trouble.  The drudgery of being in a junior college I could have easily avoided, so, peers, Respect me for sticking in with you guys! (: hahahas

In other news, Gay Porn that does not belong to M was found in his com today. He shares it with his brother, currently a J1 student in a top 5 JC, and is finding it hard to believe his brother might be gay. What is the world coming to ? -shakes head- (:  

I’ve been reading many blogs of late, and it has come to my realisation I don’t blog with much relevance. So, I guess I’ll just have to do something about that, won’t I ? (:

I spoke to J and A on the phone seperately last night, and ended up sleeping just before 5 am (: Thank god I know such nocturnal creatures or I would have just crumbled being by myself last night. Anyhow, J was trying to teach me Korean phrases, although, really, I still think they all sound the same. I must have sounded like a complete idiot! Blearghs. A and I had a more intense connection (: Yeah, it involved us not being in clothes. Nicely done!

Alas, we’ve come to the last day of the three-day weekend, and I haven’t done much work. Renee Low (the one who teaches international history) is already on my back for failing her map test miserably, Nicholas Tay (SEA history) isn’t too pleased with my lackadaisical attitude, Leong (economics) likes me for smiling at him everytime he calls my name, but I don’t reckon that will earn me any brownie points - and Mr Sng (OMGAWD!) is just cold to me. *poofie- Oh, and the teacher who teaches me Biology, whose name I have temporarily forgotten, wants mindmaps on the structure of DNA, and translation - both of which are the biggest chapters that have been covered so far. I have a newspaper article that is very much overdue, along with two essays for International Hist. and SEA Hist. respectively. Boy, isn’t school fun? (:

Well, I finally got to talk to D again last night, and I can’t say it was pleasant, for me anyways. In more ways than one, he was unbelievably diplomatic, and that made me feel like I was discussing some sort of business transaction. Anyways, I’ll stop talking about this - clearly, you’ve moved on.

YIMMIE! Please be a dear, and take real good care of yourself; I’ll stand by you the way you did when I needed you (: Now, go get your A1s, and into the course of your desire, and perhaps we’ll go out soon ? There’s so much you’ve yet told me!

Let’s switch the channels
And watch TV from different angles!

After a pathetic attempt to regain admission into the highly sought after Mass Communications course in Ngee Ann Poly, and being rejected for giving my place up to go to -rolls eyes- Yishun, I am officially in a state of distraught and angst - partly at the prospect of continuing dwelling with the likes of idiots.

To make matters worse, I know that the fault really is mine, and not theirs: if only i’d been less fickle, and just remained in the course, i wouldn’t be where no-one else wants to be. It’s torture enough to just think about how the next schoolday will turn out; for me, education at Yishun has become nothing more than a mundane obligation to complete the course of pre-university. fuck it. It’s ephemeral, this school business, and I’ll be out before I know it.

nothing matters, only your grades do

I never thought I could love again
I never thought I’d let somebody else in
I never thought I could trust and then
Here I am in love once again

And when I see you baby this is when
I want to scream it at the top of my lungs
I love you baby!
I know I’ll never have this chance again

Once Again, Frankie Jordan.

Well, if you assumed, like most people did, that I’m in love again, you couldn’t be more wrong.
For the first time, I’m actually proud of my singlehood, and my existence as a self-reliant, self-sufficient boy of 17 (well, i’m actually onlyy 16!).

In other news, Mikey just told me the first runner-up of this year’s Miss Singapore Universe is actually his cousin! Now, how cool is that ? Just imagine: My friend’s the son of the sister of the mother of an actual pageant runner-up! (If you actually take the time to make sense of that sentence, you’ll realise it’s actually logical!) (: Confusing, I know, but that’s what makes it fun. Her name’s Jade, I hear. Well, congratulations, lady, you may have come in second on national television, but that only happened ‘cos I decided not to participate in this year’s running! heh!

School beckons; the bed welcomes.
Won’t you come sleep wimme? (: